Thursday 5/2/24
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Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills. —Catherine Ponder Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, and another friend, even the TV. Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most. Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one? |
The Perfect Reply
One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was setting aside my fears long enough to ask someone to be my Al-Anon sponsor. One of my biggest challenges has been finding the ability to trust people.
I still feel like a newcomer and realize I may feel this way for a long time. I am a virtual baby amongst rooms full of longtime members. It took me a long time to grasp the meaning of some many phrases I heard at meetings, such as “Work the Steps. Follow the program. Follow HP’s will.” For a long time I was shuffling my feet through the forest of “I want to feel better,” heading toward a glimpse of the “Al-Anon way,” which I could faintly see in the distance. For a year I just went to meetings and listened. Sometimes I was able to talk or share, but usually after I spoke I became very critical of my own words. I even managed to work up the courage to lead meeting or two, but I must admit I felt extremely nervous. I went to great lengths to prepare the perfect opening, and then I felt so self-conscious that I could hardly hear what other members were saying. I only knew that I couldn’t stand living my life as I had in the past. Al-Anon was the place where I began to believe there was another way. Picking up the phone to call a member was nearly impossible for me. I was so afraid my problems were not Al-Anon related and the person would not want to talk to me. Now I know that life problems, or even just fears and concerns, are all acceptable topics. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure there is an unacceptable topic. The only thing that saved me from my problem with the phone was e-mail. Finding out that I could share my feelings without worrying about being turned tow or criticized gave me the courage to be honest and real. It gave me the ability to reach out for help. Along the way there have been many challenges that seemed like roadblocks because of my shyness and fears. Little by little I pushed myself to put a toe in the water and try. When that wasn’t possible, I learned to pray for the courage to make a tiny step in the direction I wanted to go. Finding the courage to ask someone to by my sponsor was one of the hardest chores for me. I agonized over who would accept me and understand my feelings and fears. No one seemed to fit the mold of the perfect sponsor I had created in my head. Certainly no one would want to listen to me. After a year, I realized I could not continue to learn and grow without some kind of guidance. After much searching and many prayers, I noticed a woman in a meeting who obviously practiced the program long enough to help me learn how to grow, and she had an e-mail address. All I had to do was write to her, ask for her help, and wait. Pretty soon I realized what was the perfect reply for me. She wrote, “I would be honored to be your sponsor. I will do my best to stay out of the way and let God use me as His channel.” That felt so safe to me. Letting God be in charge allowed me to let go of tons of fear. Today I am trying to use that idea in many areas of my life. At first I wrote to my sponsor and said, “I don’t know if this is okay to ask,” but I would ask. After a few months, I felt safe just to talk and to keep our lines of communication open. Having a sponsor is one of the best things I’ve done for myself. When she shares her experience, strength, and hope with me, she allows me to stretch my wings so I can practice having a real, happy life. Al-Anon has wisely provided me with this opportunity, and I am so heartily thankful to all members past and present for keeping the program alive. By Suzy, Virginia June, 2003 Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. |
Today's Hope is a Recovery themed site with a focus on Friends and Families of Alcoholics and problem drinkers. We are not affiliated with any 12 Step program. The daily sharings contain a reading from
Al-Anon's Conference Approved publication The Forum, an inspirational quote/saying and a recovery based reading/meditation. The intent of Today's Hope is to share experience, strength and hope. Please take what you like and leave the rest. |